in which I write about stuff
Sasha’s out there someplace – so is Chad. (not the same place.)
okay, so now Sasha’s back, getting pets and treats. that’s always reassuring – tho I’m sure she’ll be crying up a storm in a few hours, just dying to go out in the cold & wet again.
only shit on TV, so I’ve turned it off (see, I do have self-control) and dropped a little Dead Can Dance into the computer. what I really ought to do now is clean up the front room. yay. my favorite thing to do….
okay, quick post for safety. 😛
but what I’m trying to get is the dynamics of the larger culture. the kind of language – cert, Corp, database, unincorporated – that is common usage among the Imperians. <sigh> but I’m so not happy with the attempt below, or the other attempt yesterday or the day before. it’s just not sparking me. I feel like I need something to kick me in the ass. maybe I should just read the draft again – I was feeling pretty psyched while I was reading it.
bleh, bleh, and double-bleh.
at least I’m writing lots of haiku, right? this evening’s contribution:
on a bank sign
flashing time/temperature
the sun setting too soon
I’m not sure if I’m getting better at these or not….
I started trying to write more “source materials” – to get into the zone to start writing revision:
N: This research will make my career, I know it. The chance to study the physiology of an unincorporated sentient being no ones done it, not in 200 years.
A: But I thought you wanted to get your cert in plants?
N: I want to work in plants. But I need to get my cert first, and if it gets me a little notoriety too, well, thats not such a bad thing, is it?
A: I guess. Maybe well get a position back on Unitad, after I finish my cert research. Of course, if you finish your cert first, Id be happy to go with you and finish with database research. Its not like my work cant get done anywhere. 🙂
N: Youre too sweet. Im wondering, though, if I could get a Corp position. Ive been talking to Bradley about it.
ugh. this sucks. what do I really want to write? I want to understand the motivations of Nadine, Bradley, and Marcus. Marcus I get. I’ve always understood him, for the most part. He, Aila, and Reboa have been the characters that have stayed the most stable over the 7+ years I’ve been working on this thing. But I have this feeling that Nadine (N, above – A is her bfriend, Aaron) and Bradley are key to understanding the dynamics of the “offworlders” culture. Nadine is a student, doing research to get her “cert” – she’s a biologist. Aila is a project to her – to some extent, this is true for Marcus as well, but Marcus also cherishes Aila as an individual.
Bradley, on the other hand, is a geologist(? or perhaps a botanist – that’s what he is in the original draft) who does research for the Corp (as does Joan, later, btw).
I love my country. Really – I mean that in a totally non-sarcastic, non-ironic way.
I was walking thru the halls, on my way back from lunch, and looking at all the people I was just filled with this strange amorphous…love…for a great many things about this wacky country – where I was born, where I grew up, where I live. (and will probably always live)
I love the fighting strains of puritanism and hedonism, atheism and religiosity, pompousness and silliness. I love the fact that America is, in essence, an idea – as much as it is geography. And that we gave this idea: a multicultural democratic capitalistic mishmash – to the rest of the world. We are proud, young, energetic, and argumentative. Nothing is sacred, and everything is sacred. Something can be a meaningful tradition, and rebelled against, all in the course of a century. (See “pledge of allegiance, the”) I love the story of our flag, even the silly Betsy Ross part. I love the fact that we actually did manage to free the slaves, give women the vote, ensure universal education – all sort despite ourselves. I love the frontier spirit – and I love that, sometimes, the people who got displaced for it can fight back with our own laws. I love the Constitution. I think the United States of America is a wonderful place, and I feel incredibly lucky to be an American.
(all this of course, with the constant caveat that this country is nowhere near perfect, and that I can think of a half-dozen things off the top of my head that drive me crazy.)
God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule
The Onion continues to rock – “Holy Fucking Shit: Attack on America” – but that story was almost a weeper.
I haven’t had a nuclear war dream in many, many years. Had to wake myself up out of it.
In more normal news – yesterday I tried upgrading the “photon” (my computer) – new CD-ROM, mobo, and chip. cd-rom came off w/out a hitch, but I had to go back to the old mobo/chip. 🙁 (and even that was fraught with problems…much reworking of IDE & power cables.) ah well, today I will try again, this time with Chad around.
I actually wrote in my paper journal yesterday, which is the first in a long time. I was on the bus, riding home from Seattle, and I just had to write, longhand rather than in my handspring. It felt good.
“Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.” – Carl Sagan, via Scripting News. Which thought is a big part of my personal morality.
“With malice towards none… WITH CHARITY FOR ALL; WITH FIRMNESS IN THE RIGHT, AS GOD GIVES US TO SEE THE RIGHT, LET US STRIVE ON TO FINISH THE WORK WE ARE IN; TO BIND UP THE NATION’S WOUNDS; TO CARE FOR HIM WHO SHALL HAVE BORNE THE BATTLE, AND FOR HIS WIDOW AND HIS ORPHAN– TO DO ALL WHICH MAY ACHIEVE AND CHERISH A JUST AND LASTING PEACE AMONG OURSELVES, AND WITH ALL NATIONS.
Abraham Lincoln, March 4, 1865
I’ve always loved that speech. Found on Comstock. Lincoln was my first hero.
I can’t find my old pin with the picture of the earth from space with “peace” in several languages written on it. the pin must have broken off at some point…years ago, I’m sure. sigh. I still don’t have an answer, only an internal surety that war isn’t it.
but I still get the feeling that what I think doesn’t really matter. we will go on “America’s Crusade,” as the News Tribune is calling it, guns blazing and damn the torpedos. and it won’t fix a god-damn thing. nothing I’ve read convinces me that we can do anything that will make a difference, except maybe for carpet-bombing the middle east/central asia with food.