things I have lost
the author ponders a lost document, and with it, a lost career direction
today I was looking through one of my old boxes of papers, in search of a grant I helped write back in 1997, that I always thought of as being like my “senior project” for the Children’s Museum. I found a bunch of other stuff from old jobs, including pay scales, reference letters, and things I designed, but no luck on the grant. I must’ve tossed it about the time I decided that web/graphic design was where I was headed professionally.
::sigh::
’cause of course now I’m looking at grantwriting again, and I know if I saw one of my old projects with Jackie O (yes, really, only she was a statuesque black woman) or Tanya, I’d have the feel of it again. kinda like writing fantasy; it was just something that once I got into it, flowed from my fingers. or something.
there was a path I could’ve gone down, and didn’t, and I’m inclined to say it’s just chance rather than any particular determination that I made for myself. except that I became very clear that I didn’t want to do general fundraising, and most development gigs seemed to be a combo of grantwriting and other fundraising, so I found myself looking at those jobs less and less.
and so here I am.
