a dream approximately on the topic of my birthday

a small bathroom, all white wood and tile, a little worn, as if the bathroom in the Grey Gables had mated with the bathroom in the Washington St. apartment. standing in front of the closed door, next to a white porcelain pedestal sink, a silvered mirror over it, framed in white wood.

two girls, somewhere between 16 and 20, getting ready for a party or a night on the town. another woman, older than they are, maybe a little younger than I am; dark hair but pale skin, reminding me vaguely of an old roommate from the hell house, whose name always escapes me.

the girls (one in the short tub, the other sitting on the toilet) invite us out…I think I say something self-deprecating about being too old. they ask us how old, I say 30, she says 62, with a hard look in her eye.

you’re joking, I say, you can’t be any older than 26, and it doesn’t really matter anyway. she frowns, and leaves — or disappears, in the way of dreams.

what’s the deal with the age thing, asks the girl in the tub. I shrug.

it’s displacement, I say, displacement from the fear of death onto trivial number games. (or something like that.)

and as that revelation swarms across my entire brain, some noise: C coughing, or a cat turning over in its sleep, or the breeze outside, pulls me out of sleep just enough to disperse the dream. not so much to forget it, though.

in a better space

purple glass necklace
stone and silver earrings
I was hit with bursts of inspiration this weekend, and ended up making half a dozen earrings, plus the most complicated necklace I’ve yet tried.

actually, Sunday was a really nice day…our friend J came over to paint D&D miniatures with C (we played most of Saturday afternoon & evening!), and while they were doing that, I worked on jewelry. it was much the same this afternoon, only just C & me, with him drawing possible dungeons.

y’know what? it’s been just a really nice weekend. didn’t get near as much done as I wanted to, but I think I’m *set up* to get stuff done. made lists, bought materials to organize the utility closet, made my sister’s birthday present (!)….

and just plain relaxed with C, enjoying some time before the press of September sets in on us. not hiding out in the back den vegetating with movies, but being creative, basking in the cool almost-fall sun.

speaking of which…

eggplant blossom

I’m getting a second burst of growth in the garden. C went at my vegetable patch on Friday, yanking out weeks, and we discovered that:

# the eggplant hadn’t died, after all
# the spinach and arugula are reseeding
# the carrots are still kicking

so, yay. I’m going to pick a bouquet of cosmos tomorrow morning to take to work, so I have something pretty from my garden to look at this coming week.

I hesitate to say it (I have a long history of craptacular birthdays), but I think I might have a really nice 30th birthday.

a little rearranging

I’ve been thinking about what I’ve been doing with this site, and I think I’m going to start another weblog.

no, seriously.

I was reading Keith’s post on re-branding Asterisk, and Shelley’s on her “apolitical self”….

and then I went to look at my home page. what am I doing here, exactly? which is also something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I have thoughts about web design/development, but I don’t write about them very often. I like taking pictures, but I don’t post them very often. (yeah, my last album is from April.) someday, I’d like to have a space for my fiction, poetry, and/or jewelry.

it may take me a while, but I think I’m going to do some work separating and at the same time re-combining.

# add a new weblog for technology writing (I want to talk to my boss about this before I start, since I’d like to write about work-related problems)
# move the photo albums off of the main page?
# maybe a little redesign (just tweak, I think, since in the main I’m happy with the look. I may, OTOH, see if I can get it working in IE. it is pretty abominable there!)
# figure out how to combine the feeds for anybody interested in the mega-Elaine feed
# figure out how to separate out the snapping link feeds by category.

what are my goals in all this? to express myself more fully. to make a name for myself in my chosen profession. to not get bored. 🙂

of course, none of this will happen right away…I have other, more important, things to deal with first.