Month: December 2005

there’s something almost holy about ending the year with a perfectly empty email inbox (at work, my personal email remains a crazy mess). I’m glad I lived to see it. 😉

I’m not counting movies that I saw at least once before 2005, even if I reviewed them this year, although I’m including older movies that were new to me. same caveat as with the books: I’m missing any reviews from mid-February through June.

* Batman Begins
* Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
* Steamboy
* 24 Hour Party People
* Serenity
* Control Room
* Dirty Pretty Things
* The 40 Year Old Virgin
* Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
* Shawn of the Dead
* The Motorcycle Diaries

in no particular order, gleaned from my media diet (which means there’s a huge chunk missing, mid-Feb through June)….

non-fiction
* 1491
* Lonely Planets
* Conspiracy of Fools
* Necessary Dreams
* The Great Influenza
* Bookmark Now
* Krakatoa

fiction
* Singulary Sky & Iron Sunrise
* The Time-traveler’s Wife
* Banewreaker & Godslayer
* The Coyote Kings of the Space-Age Bachelor Pad

one thought about the year in books overall: I have no trouble finding out about interesting non-fiction, between the blogs I read and the Daily Show, but I’m often at a loss for picking up good fiction.

I bought my plane tickets for SxSW…arriving March 8, leaving March 15.

I almost went to Austin 9 years ago, and changed my mind at the very last minute. I wasn’t going for a conference, but for more personal matters. so it’s bound up not just with my professional life and my much-loved hobby, but other things as well.

So I’m happy, and a wee bit nervous, and shocked that I would even do such a thing.

Weeeee!

It’s nice to have my sinuses back. Tomorrow I’ll be going back to the office (today I had a doctor’s appointment, so was teleworking), for the first time in a long time. Or at least what seems like a long time.

The holidays were a mix of exceptionally lovely and quite stressful.

Good: legos! — quilt from Mom — prime rib at a friend’s — getting the right presents for C — Monty Python & the Holy Grail.

Bad: bellevue the day after Christmas — not getting enough alone time — bailing on the game we had scheduled for yesterday.

Also, I got a haircut, which I really, really, really needed. I even scheduled ahead for next time, so 3 1/2 months don’t go by w/out a cut.

And I’m keeping my fingers crossed that there won’t be rain tomorrow, ’cause I’m going to try to ride. (Elizabeth really outdid herself this year at Xmas, with the legos, the CDs, and a new headlight much nicer than I would’ve bought for myself.)

four jobs I’ve held: housecleaner, library page, random chaos girl, web manager

four movies I can watch over and over: the Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings, Brain Candy, and I can’t think of anything else Zoolander!

four places I’ve lived: Altadena, CA; Tacoma, WA; Lakewood, WA; Olympia, WA (and oddly, those are the only four places I’ve lived)

four TV shows I love to watch: The Office, Kids in the Hall, Firefly, the Daily Show

four places I’ve been on vacation: Turlock, CA (it was just a stop, but one that meant a great deal); Madeline Island, Wisconsin (the destination point of the craziest trip ever); San Francisco, CA (one of my favorite places on earth); California gold rush country (a childhood vacation…that ended in San Fran!)

four sites I visit daily: gmail, my aggregator, trackslife, and my work site

four of my favorite foods: tom ka gai, chicken gyro special at It’s Greek to Me, the no-longer-available taco salad at Planet Burrito, pringles (and anything chocolate as a obvious 5th)

four places I’d rather be: doing something fun with Kat in Seattle; visiting Grey and Thao (separately) in San Francisco; in a cabin in the woods writing; and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than here in Olympia.

But I do want to know: ladies, what do you want? Do you want conferences where only women are present? Are you only interested in recognition from the A list males?

Do the majority of women really not want to be seen? That?s not a bad option?but this changes the dynamic of the argument.

d’oh! I forgot to link to Shelley’s piece that started me thinking.

I want to be seen. Okay, maybe not *today*, when I’m floating halfway between awake and asleep, and a little dizzy at that. (oh, beloved sinuses) But in general, yes.

What does it mean to be seen? That’s the $64,000 question. I think it means different things to different people.

I want to see myself (in all of my various forms) reflected in those who I look to for expertise and counsel. And so in that case, I don’t want to be seen so much as for others to be seen. The person who is seen is not only an expert, but also is acknowledged by others and makes her expertise available in one way or another. This is where the A list recognition comes in, just “A” but the body of expert peers. That’s why linking is important in all this, because I find the models that I look up to by connecting through other models. I’m thinking very specifically of the CSS/web standards universe here, because that’s a place of professional interest for me.

So I think I know what it means to see. What does it mean to be seen? –for me, not anybody else?

Ideally, to have a unified network of [whatever]* that is evenly male and female that is engaged in a conversation about [whatever].

I don’t know where I’m going now, so I’m going to use an example.

I’m going to an all-day seminar held by the community college state board on student services and the web. I found out about it because the vp’s assistant saw the announcement and thought I’d be interested. And *then* the organizer said she (?) wanted someone from our college to be on a panel, and listed off a few suggestions to the VP and her assistant…both of whom recommended me.

Yipes. Followed by, hell yeah!

Which means — I’m terrified of public speaking. I’m nervous about having my ideas and experiences challenged. But I feel strongly about what we’ve done with our redesigns, and I think I have something meaningful to say. Plus, the opportunities I’ve had to be seen have repaid me in spades: going out to dinner with the higher-ed people in Seattle, meeting folks in Rochester, heck, just doing this whole blog thing. I get more than I give, once I get over the nerves.

Sometimes it’s good to have a safe environment, whether that means all-women, all-higher-ed, etc., etc. Sometimes it’s good to stretch. This panel will be a stretch, for several reasons, but I’m looking forward to it anyway.

My brain just faded out again, so I don’t know what I was going to say next. I think it might be time for a nap or a bite to eat.

Maybe more later, maybe not.

* where [whatever] equals CSS, weblogging, home remodeling, politics, photography, etc., etc.

oh, this sucks. I still just feel run down and stuffed up, pretty much as a constant. went to work yesterday, but only got about 4 things done because I couldn’t concentrate long enough to do anything.

mornings are worst, but all through the day I just have little micro-bursts of energy. then, 10 minutes later all I want is sleep.

bleh.

A little better today; although I woke with a headache of immense proportions, it eventually succumbed to store-brand migrane formula. And a lot of orange juice.

Unfortunately, I already had a vacation day scheduled for today. 🙁 Was going to go to Vashon again with Kat and her writing gang, but I knew yesterday that I wasn’t going to be up for it. Instead, half the day laying and whimpering with my headache, the other half watching the rest of Lord of the Rings. (Eowyn is my personal hero.)

I wish I’d know what this meant a week ago, and then maybe I’d’ve been better already. Ah well, at least now I know if it happens again.

And shortly I can go back to my life — finish sending cards, order my plane tickets, reset the garden, go back to work — maybe a little more refreshed.

Today was icy cold. We went out, briefly, to the store to get the aforementioned meds, and at noon there was still frost on everything. So pretty, the frost on the yarrow, its remaining leaves curled and dying, but outlined with ice, like a sculpture of silver and glass. I find this year that I’m enjoying all the seasons in their own way; only in these last two weeks, when I’ve been down, has the gathering dark been hard to take. It is what it is, the full moon through ice-fog, the bones of the aspen against the pale sky, the withering leaves in the garden simmering down to await the spring.

So it turns out that these sniffles and stuffiness that I’ve been suffering with for two weeks (almost precisely) is actually a sinus infection. Who knew?

Well, C had a pretty good hunch, but after suffering all day yesterday with a plugged-up nose and over-stuffed itchy eyes and gradually stuffing-up ears, I called the consulting nurse.

Who told me to not pass go, not collect $200, and to get directly to the urgent care clinic. Luckily, it didn’t take too long, hardly any waiting, and then sent home with antibiotics and nasal spray.

I’m so very glad I did, too, because this morning I woke up feeling like crap — exhausted, not enough air, even more stuffy. I think if I’d let this go on another few days or a week, I’d be in a very bad way. As it is, I took today off to sleep in (until 10!) and laze about, not thinking too hard.

My mood’s been off these last couple of weeks, and I’m beginning to wonder if some of it was just being worn down by this silly infection.