I probably shouldn’t publish this while I am (a) home by myself and (b) feeling so churlish, but there you are.

was starting to plan holiday vacation times, so I looked up C’s school schedule for winter break. I’d been laboring under the impression that school didn’t start until after MLK Jr. Day (probably because that’s how it was when I was in college), but it starts just after the first of the year.

which makes it too early for us to go together to Mom’s birthday bash, which Eliz. has been planning like crazy for. and after C went to Wisconsin alone summer before last, we’ve decided that we don’t want to take vacations apart.

so I don’t know what to do, and I’m bitter and irritable about it. I’m really wishing that Elizabeth hadn’t made such a huge freaking deal out of this, as now I’ll feel guilty for not going.

or maybe I’ll just take the train, rent a car, stay in a hotel, but make it a quick trip, not a real vacation. but I want to take a real vacation to Calif. with C, because the only other time we ever went together it was a real rush — drove down & back for Elizabeth’s high school graduation in a week.

some of that trip was great: I am forever grateful that he & Uncle Bill met before Uncle Bill died. but most of it was too crazy, esp. since he burnt his mouth on fast food just before we left, so he couldn’t eat hardly anything. a recipe for crankiness.

I want him to see the places I grew up in, the same way I’ve seen so much of this area through his eyes, driving around rural Pierce County.

sigh. and grrrr.