I’ve heard from a bunch of people in response to my email yesterday (see below). Barry, Bruce, Edith, Elizabeth, Aunt Susie, Stephanie, Paula, Greyson. I’m a little concerned that I haven’t heard anything from Matt (who I flaked out on this last weekend – Matt, if you’re out there, please forgive me for my screwiness!). everyone is alive and well, even Irina – heard 2nd hand from Steph. not that Irina would ever see this, but I’m so glad to know she is okay.
I didn’t think I had
I didn’t think I had it in me, but my only possible response to this was a poem:
a bright sunny day
(perhaps too bright)
above, a V of geese
turning, heedless,
but still beautiful
a continent’s distance
another sunlit day
dimmed by clouds
that will bring no rain
but tears
not the best thing I’ve ever written, but heartfelt.
found on Slate’s “The Fray”
September 1, 1939
WH Auden
From: Another Time (1940)
I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade;
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night
gotta go get some food,
I guess I should write
I guess I should write something about GWB’s statement (I still refuse to call him the president), but I can’t find any words. So I’ll steal Jacob Weisberg’s (link):
The only official I saw who failed to create some sense of reassurance was the president. All he knew how to do was read his statement and offer a prayer. My honest, churlish reaction: I wish Bill Clinton were still the president.
yeah, like that.
I’ve got the strangest song
“An eye for an eye
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” – Ghandi
seen on Metafilter discussion.
still trying to get my
still trying to get my work done, while scary thoughts run through my head. my hands are shaking & cold, my stomach is churning. (cramps not helping.)
news reports, carried by co-workers & metafilter, say that palestinians are dancing in the streets. I am trying not to be zenophobic, not to be racist, but it’s hard. it’s going to be hard for our leaders to avoid doing something really, really stupid. because I think bombing whoever into glass/stone age would be stupid. call me crazy, but I fear it would only make things worse.
but GWB is our president, so stupidity is unlikely to be avoided.
okay, I said I wasn’t
okay, I said I wasn’t going to post at work again, but today seems a little different somehow. I won’t link to anything, as it’s all a moving target right now. (the internet traffic is just insane, btw.)
sent this email to a bunch of friends/relatives:
I don’t know what to say – only this feeling that I need to reach out to the people I love. I’m reading what news I can get on the internet (traffic is too high for any audio/video) and am filled with a sinking feeling…like today was the end of something.
love,
elaine
ps: edith or elizabeth, could you forward this on to ms. nicholson? I can’t find her address.
pss: aunt susie, thank you so much for the earrings – they are lovely!
just got a reply from Greyson, who I haven’t talked to in so long. he’s taking the day off to be with Michel, which makes me breathe a little easier, seeing as how he works in downtown SF. now if I heard from Stephanie (in Virginia/DC) I’d feel better.
I’m filled with this floating anxiety. I can’t concentrate – just cancelled my first meeting of the day because I am hopelessly unprepared. what will happen now? that’s the only thought in my mind. that, and that we are at war – or on the verge of it.
some center of morbid humor in my brain keeps reminding me that Pearl Harbor Day is the day after Edith’s birthday – and now this thing is the day after mine.