Author: Elaine

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meeting knitting

So I’ve found that I can focus in meetings where I’m not participating much if I have something to knit. It keeps the fidgety part of my brain out of the way, keeps me from doodling about things not related to the meeting or futzing about on the internet. So I actually listen better. But there are a few key points.

Some particularly formal meetings or groups just aren’t a great fit. It helps to show up a little early and already be knitting when the meeting starts, especially if one’s habit isn’t widely known in the group. And I think it’s helpful to occasionally stop to make a note or whatever when there is something that’s specific to why I’m there.

As for the knitting itself, it should be relatively small (no afghans!) and simple; scarves, shawls, and the bodies of hats (not the crowns) seem particularly well-suited. Patterns shouldn’t require any noticeable counting, either of stitches or rows. Basically, it should look like you’re not really looking at the knitting, just doing it.

Probably my favorite pattern for meeting knitting so far has been something called the Fibonacci Scarf. It’s a ribbed scarf, but with a bit of variation, the ribs being in Fibonacci sequence: Slip knitwise, knit, purl x2, knit x3, purl x5, knit x8, purl x5, knit x3, purl x2, knit, knit; then the other way around for the even-numbered rows. It turns out really pretty, and has a bit more variation than the usual ribbed whatnot. Plus math!

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Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human

Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human
author: Richard W. Wrangham
name: Elaine
average rating: 3.84
book published: 2009
rating: 3
read at: 2010/04/25
date added: 2013/03/03
shelves: history, non-fiction, psychology, science, sociology, health
review:
Review of the evidence for cooking as an important part of our evolution, looking at the fossil record, the habits and physiology of other primates, and the practices of modern hunter-gatherer groups.

He spends a chapter taking down the raw-foodist movement, mostly based on a German study, before getting into the evidence for cooking in our evolution. Most of that study’s participants were at a chronic energy deficit, and a number of the women suffered from amenorrhea…and they had access to all the foodstuffs and processing devices of the modern world!

The physiology bits were fascinating: the trade-off between energy use in the gut and energy use in the brain, the differing jaw and teeth formations.

There’s quite a bit of just-so-story of the kind that one often finds with evolutionary psychology & biology, but it seems more carefully constructed than some. The chapter(s) on cooking and the evolution of the pair-bond relationship are troubling but hard to refute, at least by me. (Cooking leading pretty much directly to patriarchy. Damn.)

I could have used some graphics, both to show the actual differences, and to keep track of the timeline. I often had to jump back to remember which groups were which, and who might have evolved what when.

But definitely interesting nonetheless.

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Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human

Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human
author: Richard W. Wrangham
name: Elaine
average rating: 3.85
book published: 2009
rating: 3
read at: 2010/04/25
date added: 2013/03/03
shelves: history, non-fiction, psychology, science, sociology, health
review:
Review of the evidence for cooking as an important part of our evolution, looking at the fossil record, the habits and physiology of other primates, and the practices of modern hunter-gatherer groups.

He spends a chapter taking down the raw-foodist movement, mostly based on a German study, before getting into the evidence for cooking in our evolution. Most of that study’s participants were at a chronic energy deficit, and a number of the women suffered from amenorrhea…and they had access to all the foodstuffs and processing devices of the modern world!

The physiology bits were fascinating: the trade-off between energy use in the gut and energy use in the brain, the differing jaw and teeth formations.

There’s quite a bit of just-so-story of the kind that one often finds with evolutionary psychology & biology, but it seems more carefully constructed than some. The chapter(s) on cooking and the evolution of the pair-bond relationship are troubling but hard to refute, at least by me. (Cooking leading pretty much directly to patriarchy. Damn.)

I could have used some graphics, both to show the actual differences, and to keep track of the timeline. I often had to jump back to remember which groups were which, and who might have evolved what when.

But definitely interesting nonetheless.

Posted on

Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human

Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human
author: Richard W. Wrangham
name: Elaine
average rating: 3.84
book published: 2009
rating: 3
read at: 2010/04/25
date added: 2013/03/03
shelves: history, non-fiction, psychology, science, sociology, health
review:
Review of the evidence for cooking as an important part of our evolution, looking at the fossil record, the habits and physiology of other primates, and the practices of modern hunter-gatherer groups.

He spends a chapter taking down the raw-foodist movement, mostly based on a German study, before getting into the evidence for cooking in our evolution. Most of that study’s participants were at a chronic energy deficit, and a number of the women suffered from amenorrhea…and they had access to all the foodstuffs and processing devices of the modern world!

The physiology bits were fascinating: the trade-off between energy use in the gut and energy use in the brain, the differing jaw and teeth formations.

There’s quite a bit of just-so-story of the kind that one often finds with evolutionary psychology & biology, but it seems more carefully constructed than some. The chapter(s) on cooking and the evolution of the pair-bond relationship are troubling but hard to refute, at least by me. (Cooking leading pretty much directly to patriarchy. Damn.)

I could have used some graphics, both to show the actual differences, and to keep track of the timeline. I often had to jump back to remember which groups were which, and who might have evolved what when.

But definitely interesting nonetheless.

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hitting “publish” before I think too hard about it

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about depression — I think a lot of the people I know (online and otherwise) weren’t around the last time I was really candid in this space. (I think I wrote quite a bit around 2005-06.) But it’s been weighing on me, and I’ve decided to just write something, even if it’s awkward.

For those who don’t know, I’ve dealt with recurring depression at least since I was a teenager, with probably the most severe episodes around 1994 and 2005, and lots of little bouts in between.

2012 was not an easy year for me, as I think I’ve written about a couple of times. Car crash aftermath and dying kitty threw me for a loop. The bright spot was starting a new job, but that came with the downside of giving up my amazing bike commute. And even as life got better by any objective measures, I didn’t. The last two months have been really hard, especially in motivation and social interaction. I just find it incredibly hard to get started doing almost anything, or to handle social interactions. I’ve always been introverted and/or shy, but this has been way out of bounds, to the point where even I know it’s a problem. So it’s this triple whammy of: I’m having trouble getting things done, and then I have trouble communicating about that, and that makes both of those things worse.

Plus it’s a bit like having someone screaming in your ear about how horrible everything is, and nobody can hear it but you; not literally, like hearing voices, but one’s internal narrative is so negative that it’s hard to turn off. It’s hard to even write this because I’m thinking to myself that all of this is just silly and self-indulgent, begging for attention — just get a goddamn grip.

— sigh —

Ok. So given all that…

I’ve been taking medication for several years now, and it was working really well for me; sure things are hard sometimes, but there was always a floor of how bad I could go. Not so much now. Seems I’m just running on willpower, which sucks. So we’re adjusting that, which unfortunately (?) also involves an inbetween period. So this week in particular I’m even more tired than usual, almost had a panic attack during workout class on Tuesday. But hopefully….

I’m also trying to get more exercise, which I know from experience is critical. My therapist asked when I’ve done best with exercise, and…yeah, that bike commute. Because it’s three things: a nice time outdoors, time I’d be spending in transit anyway, and I can get on autopilot. And it ended up being like an hour a day, which is a kinda crazy amount to carve out of a schedule, but seemed to be the necessary amount! Trying to go to the gym (swimming, class, whatever) is a nice addition, but isn’t quite the same thing. So I’m trying out walking from the house to downtown, which is a mile and a half, definitely takes longer than that leg of the bus ride but not impossibly longer. My legs are a little sore…and today I skipped it because it was pouring. I may need to drag out my rain gear from biking. But the days I have done it, I’ve been really glad.

I’m trying to keep positive, even with the EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND YOU SUCK going on any time I’m not actively engaged in something.

I can’t think of how I want to wrap up this post. I’m having a really hard time of it, because it feels like writing this is … oh, I don’t know, I don’t just want people to be all “oh you poor thing.” I have a lot of ISSUES around anything I think is attention-seeking, a lot of personal history crap. So I’m gonna turn it a bit differently, and if somebody in your life seems to be flaking out, be compassionate with them. You never know what they’re fighting against.

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writing about writing

It’s odd…by any objective measure this (the eee transformer tablet+keyboard) is too small to write on, but this morning when I sat down to write, I started up my computer…and decided that I’d rather be writing with the smaller device. Maybe it’s the distance between my eyes and the screen, or just the smallness of the thing, or that the application that I’m using fills the entire screen. Something that makes the blank screen somewhat less intimidating.

I downloaded Scrivener for Windows onto my computer, finally. I loved the program on my Macbook, and I think of it as a re-commitment to being serious (?) about writing. It will be interesting to see what kind of workflow I can get into with Scrivener on the desktop and whatever little word processing program I use on this thing. I think I want to start by finishing my last NaNoWriMo project (2010?), which I mostly wrote in Scrivener, along with some paper journals. That should give me something to start with.

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nothing much

low battery and low mood, so I’m not sure how much I’m really going to write today. Feeling the accumulated effects of the dark seasons, lack of exercise, and what else? Also, this morning, a bit of a sinus headache.

Ugh, none of the thoughts that bubble up in my head sound fit to commit to pixels. Surely there’s something I can be creative about, but I can’t seem to find it. I’ve carved out this little bit of time for myself, but I have nothing to use it on.

Last night I dreamed I was in a meeting and someone was rude and insulted my technical expertise. I stood up and told them they were being rude and called them a b****. It was terrifying and also a huge relief. (Also: meeting dream? Ugh.) Normally I don’t do confrontation.

Battery is in the red zone on the transformer (I think it’s been more than 2 or 3 days since I charged it last.) — I should probably save or publish or something before it dies.

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Curly Girl: The Handbook

Curly Girl: The Handbook
author: Lorraine Massey
name: Elaine
average rating: 4.29
book published: 2001
rating: 3
read at: 2011/08/19
date added: 2013/02/14
shelves: non-fiction, self-help, health, own
review:
I’ve been letting my hair grow out, and I’m trying to treat it right; snapped this book up when I saw it at the library. Mostly skimmed, might take another read-through before I take it back, to try some of the “recipes” for hair stuff or hairdos. Basically, I should be treating my (wavy) hair like one of my wool sweaters. 🙂 After a couple of days experimenting, I’m liking the way my hair looks/feels so far.

The writing tone is not particularly to my tastes, although at least most of the directions and photography are fairly clear. I also wish there was more information on kinds of haircuts that look good on different kinds of hair.

There’s a companion CD, which I haven’t yet looked at.

edit: purchased the earlier edition of this book (used) summer 2012.