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age 8
wrote 2 poems

a little story
my own myth-making
sky people: rain & stars
feeling corny
as soon as words
hit big-ruled paper
too clever by half

somehow sent out
as an exemplar
followed me for years

exploring one color
shades of purple
seeking my own joy
in a poem
of image and tone

noticed and loved
only by me

age 12
never mind the tortured
lines
wrung out
of early adolescence

scrawls in 4 colors
on spiral-bound notebooks

hidden
in the adult side
of the library
obscure poets, modern, local
now I forget
her name
but remember the texture
of the books’ covers

a class project
collecting poems
famous, obscure, and mine
the fierce forced push
of keys
grandfather’s typewriter
into rough-shiny translucent
eraseable paper
illustrated
in 4-color ballpoint
stick figures

age 19
lusting and trying
out
everything
and being left

all the time
notebook in hand
walking strange streets
at night

the tall chestnut
tree’s roots
lift the sidewalk
crossed in passage
from wierd dangerous nights
into days
incognito
taking notes
next to the oblivious
rich white kids

but not really notes
for class
poems of the house
with the virtiginous
stairs
the plate window shattered
by burglars
on Xmas Eve
the original victorian
bathtub
big enough for 3

age 19/20/21/22
and all along
poems for her
because I’m no good
with words

age 24
poem at a wedding

a backyard courtyard
San Francisco
sunlight & flowers
and everything just so
the food, the guests,
the 2 men
old friend & new
(it won’t last)

the maid of honor
in a red silk shirt
and a long black skirt
reading aloud

lines that flowed
onto the journal’s page
waiting for a bus
under a flat grey sky
a thousand miles
away
(everybody cried)

age 27
a monochrome PDA
from work
fits enough words
for haiku

geese
leaves
and the moon

walking back
from lunch
bunnies in the brush

a bee on the lawn
drawing more attention
more of a poem

than a moment of
silence
and the gathered crowd

age 30
in the vanpool
the wide river valley
green, filled with fog
seeing words in it

after years of silence
all the cliches
of dark lifting
ice breaking
all true

a bit queasy
from chemical amendment
pulling the pen out
from the spiral
of wire
opening and turning
to a blank page

without lists
of what’s not done
or prose rambles
of wanting the knife’s
edge
more than any
other thing

start a new poem
and it doesn’t matter
what it says

age 32
this is now
at the end
of the longest poem
in maybe a decade

has it been that long?

and today is the pivot
into fall
a lurid sky
promising rain & clear
equally, indifferently
as the sun vanishes

my hair is freshly cut
and I walk past
the bike shop
the empty lot, the burger stand
to home

to revise this poem
type it up
and go on to the next

[this is a slightly different response to this week’s poetry thursday prompt. two side notes… 1) I’m at a complete loss for a title, which is fitting given how much trouble I’ve had with titles, suggestions welcome; 2) Kat, if you read this: what year was G&L’s wedding?] 

links for 2006-09-22

the girl on the bike

in the red sweater
her hair pulled out of her face
the unruly bits escaping
to run amuck

her skirt flapping
somehow never quite caught
in spokes or brakes
at least not today

the wind snaps
holds a bit of warm
but blows down the street
the first of the leaves
to fall

the kids in the movies
ride their bikes like this
on the way home from school

this girl was never
one of those kids
she walked, never flying
down the street on 2 wheels
frightened of losing balance
and falling on hard concrete

it happened
eventually
the flying and the falling both
she wasn’t a kid
but floating through
a fall breeze
she might pretend

[sort of in response to poetry thursday prompts]

signs of fall

  • birthday season!
  • missing a day of riding because of the rain
  • getting up in pitch dark
  • pumpkins
  • fluttering leaves on Sleater-Kinney Road
  • students on campus
  • every damn person complaining about parking
  • rolling up characters for a D&D game

not sleeping

got woken up by noisy cats around 3:30 this morning and never quite made it back to sleep, so here I am at 4:30, blogging because I got tired of tossing and turning.  too much stuff on the brain, too much stuff to do or deal with….

every freaking room in our house is in flux, being remodeled, etc.    as much as I’m happy for Aly & Rob, I’m also saying, “beware!” some of what needs to be finished is trivial, but subject to procrastinating (painting); some is more substantive, or involved outside contractors.  (in particular, water heater should be replaced soon, because I’d really like to take a hot bath this winter w/out heating any of the water on the stove.)

which leads the mind to the garden.  again, tasks range from the trivial (pick tomatoes) to the labor-intensive (move butterfly bush) to the monumental (replace back fence, do SOMETHING with the back yard).  at least it looks like this weekend will be nice weather to get those sorts of things done.  (70s, a little cloudy)

but we’ve got plans for D&D this weekend with friends on Saturday, so I need to plan carefully.  at least the game won’t be here, so I don’t have to think about setting up, food plans, etc. and I’m not DMing, so all I have to do is make sure my character is ready.  (any suggestions on a name for a cleric of a neutral good dragon god?)  and of course check to make sure C has all of his DM stuff when we leave on Saturday morning/midday.

today I really need to get everything I’m supposed to be doing for the neighborhood association newsletter, which means following up with advertisers (a task I took over starting this edition), writing a blurb about our cafepress site, and copying the info about the city’s anti-tree-topping project.  but if so, then I should also finish up the overdue work on fundraising for the welcome sign project, so I can give that stuff to the president.  plus my usual site maintenance, which I’m behind on.

and that reminds me of my freelance project (for one of the board members), which I’m not entirely sure if I finished or not.  which probably means not, so I need to check where I am with that.

which reminds me of other things I need to follow up on to either get started on new projects or to point people elsewhere.

and there’s a ton of little things I want to do to this blog so that it’s actually done.  like a proper Atom 1.0 feed, and a full-content feed, and the display of dates on comments, etc., etc.

the new version of media diet is floating out there, too; or if I can’t get back to that now, I should at least upload the old version, so I can get back to writing reviews, because I’ve been reading some pretty good books lately that I want to share.

my business site! I haven’t done anything with that! nor have I set up my jewelry site like I’ve been talking about for [mumble mumble] years.  but that also means putting together a lightbox so I can do real photographs.

and oh, shoot, I need to send somebody a disc of photos from like a month ago.  (that has its own tangent which has nothing to do with things I need to work on.)

and birthday cards for Heather and for C’s dad, and thank you cards to mom and Aunt Susie, and planning for C’s birthday.

which reminds me of my birthday, and the check I need to deposit, and what am I going to do with that: headphones or bike gear? ew, looking for bike pants, and that’s a hassle; I really need lights in the next week or I won’t be able to ride at all, rain or not.  rear fender: need to get that back on the bike, and maybe I should look for a new bike stand, because it’s such a hassle to mount my bike on the one we have now.

a whole other tangent, here, about whether I’ll be able to ride as much through the winter as I want to, and if I don’t, will I be able to keep myself mentally and physically fit.  need to make space in the front room for doing stretching, situps, etc., etc.

that brings my looping crazy brain all the way back to where I started.  (and I haven’t even written down any of the thoughts about work and stuff I need to do there.)

which is why I’m awake at 4:30 (5 now) am.

links for 2006-09-21

links for 2006-09-19