the lightbulb just went on.

the lightbulb just went on. I have a hook for the longer version of SimpleWeb – “a tale of two gerbils” – structure the whole thing around putting together a specific project, in this case, the home page for Antom and Maurice (RIP).

I link because I love.

I link because I love.

“according to my blog’s opinion poll…” 😉

christ on a crutch…John Hiler is only 27 – I never would’ve guessed.

“John W Dean made this announcement : He’s gonna reveal the identity of Deep Throat on June 17th.” [quote cite] wow. Watergate is a part of my mental landscape, tho I wasn’t born until it was all over. (The very day Nixon was pardoned.) Why is a relatively long story for another day.

pretty astronomy photos, via Matt H..

so after a spate of

so after a spate of small notes to self, wacky links, etc., I feel the desire to ‘blog a little more extensively, more in the journaling style of old. but at the same time I’m hesitant.

it’s the usual dilemma of a public journal – how much of what I write here can be a private expression, and how much is by necessity my “happiest, shiniest self” (damn, I wish I could remember that quote from the sweater – K?). and oddly enough, I’m fascinated by that dilemma, like a knife’s edge that causes both pleasure and pain, because it speaks on a deeper level to a tweak in my psyche.

it’s not easy for me to be honest.

friends may (or may not, I don’t know) mark this as strange, because I usually treasure honesty. but I’ve realized lately that I tend to prevaricate, waffle and spin when I feel that I’ve not done my best. it’s difficult to admit not only outright failure, but even less-than-optimal results. and I find most results of events in my life to be less than optimal, and I’m often embarrassed by my motivations. thus the little white lies.

but no more. if the truth is not as I like it, and I can’t bring myself to say the unvarnished truth, then silence will have to do. (“i’m sorry i flaked out on you,” and no more.)

this thought, perhaps, to be continued later.

and I can’t figure out

and I can’t figure out what I was trying to do with my list of links, some kind of weird things with arrays, it looks like. ack. I just don’t grok arrays.

yes, if I spent half

yes, if I spent half as much energy on being aware and assertive as I do on being melodramatic, I’d probably have a much more fulfilled life. (but still….)

ugh. I feel sick and

ugh. I feel sick and stupid and slow. mea cupla. or as Homer would say, “let’s just say I’m sorry for the whole thing up to this point.”