on the road to Gig Harbor
the RV’s rumble by
I can’t stop flinching
a warm sleepy afternoon. I’m
mmmm…warm jeans….
in kind of a cleaning
in kind of a cleaning frenzy mood. I actually scrubbed down all the kitchen surfaces…some last night & some this morning. plus I’m doing laundry and trying to get this computer set up properly. I couldn’t get Opera to install properly. 🙁
but I’m doing better – tired, and still a little trembly, but better.
I feel a little better
I feel a little better this morning – tho I think I’m coming down with a cold.
Chad came home early this morning after crashing (no pun intended) at a friend’s in Oly last night. he was sleepy, and hadn’t noticed the car, but I told him what happened. we talked a bit, and he was very understanding.
maddy is being very insistant about getting her breakfast this morning. but there’s no cat food in the house, and I’m feeling a little hesitant to go to the store. maybe after the jeans go thru the dryer….
she called me right back,
she called me right back, and we talked for a bit. Kat is a really good friend.
as is Matt. it sort of reminded me of talking to Grey when I’m really upset – I don’t know if he was at all comfortable dealing with me when I was that freaked out. I couldn’t stop crying – I couldn’t get any words out…even when I wasn’t crying.
and then I just felt *bleh* the whole afternoon. little bursts – bits of conversation, laughter even – but underneath it all….
hey, but I’m alive, right? I guess that’s what matters. the rest of it will get worked out, one way or another.
got the answering machine. so
so the wonderful sense of
so the wonderful sense of freedom that I’ve had driving the last week or two has completely and totally vanished.
I hit a semi this afternoon on my way to Matt’s party. no, it wasn’t that bad, considering: I drifted right in the lane while I was trying to figure out whether it would be better to take 405 (because of all the crazy seafair shit) and the front ride side of the daewoo slid across the left rear tire of the semi. lost the passenger mirror, scraped that corner of the car. and this was in southcenter…so I drove all the way to Matt’s completely terrified, crying pretty much the whole way, listening to jill sobule’s pink pearl album – which in the circumstances seemed almost appropriate. that perfect combination of jaunty tunes and melancholy lyrics…just the thing to bawl to.
on the way home, I fought back panic attacks every time somebody passed me – which since I refuse to go 90 mph, was pretty often. my arms and shoulders ache. chad hasn’t gotten home yet, either. I’m freaked out about that conversation.
this whole thing freaks me out. I’ve had my license for less than a month – this car less than 2 months – and already I’ve done something to fuck it up. I don’t know how much this will cost, how it will affect the cost of our insurance, how soon we can get it done. then Matt said, right before I left his place, that I might have a problem with the insurance because I didn’t file a police report. hell, I don’t think the semi even saw me (I don’t think I would’ve seen me), and I wasn’t exactly going to try & pull over on I5 at 405. (i considered it momentarily, but i don’t know if i would’ve been able to get in the car again.)
so I’m going to get drunk (we had a couple of hard lemonades in the fridge) and maybe cry some more, and then I don’t know what. I might call Kat, before I get too messed up, but it’s probably too late for that.
ahhh, web log. so, what’s
ahhh, web log. so, what’s log-worthy tonight? I just sent off Matt’s round robin to Barry. I need to write, clean the upstairs room, and empty the dishwasher, probably not in that order.
I’m getting close with Aila – altho I might have jinxed myself by mentioning being “almost done with a sci-fi novel” today. but no, that’s just superstitious silliness. 🙂
actually, I’m going to try working on the exercise Matt gave us – writing dialogue without tag lines – in the hope that it will give me a new perspective. (okay, so mostly I’m still just trying to avoid writing the conversation between Aila and the nara.)