It’s tough to relax completely today, for you are being pushed and pulled by the circumstances unfolding before your eyes. You cannot control the external events, but it’s crucial to take responsibility for your own reactions to what’s happening. Even if you can’t change the world, you can change your attitude.
Hrm. This morning, as I was crossing the ONLY major intersection on my entire route, I was very nearly hit by a semi.Â To be honest, I was hit, but neither I nor my bike was injured.
As I was starting to cross — on the crosswalk, with the light — a semi turned right.Â Did not see me at all.Â I realized that he didn’t see me and started to pull back.Â And then the back of the semi came around the corner, and I kept pulling back, but not nearly fast enough.Â I jumped from the bike, which fell over, the right-side bucket pulled off and knocked into the street.
If I close my eyes, I can still see that edge of the container coming towards me, right at the level of my head.
I retrieved my bucket and picked up my bike.Â One of the clips on the bucket is bent and will need to be repaired, but it was in good enough condition to put back on.Â The front (handlebars & wheel) were spun around 360 degrees, but went back to normal easily enough.Â The rear gear had slipped from 4 to 7, and I had to manipulate the rear brake a few times to get it working properly.
On the next light change, I got back on and kept going — that was less than halfway into my ride.Â I cried for a bit as I rode, but focused on keeping calm and repeating the details I had noticed and could remember:
a white truck with a green front. a red and green logo with twisting lines. 7:24 am.Â the exact intersection.
And tried to get into the headspace for the presentation/training I had to give at 9 this morning.
Which went really well; stayed calm, transmitted the information I needed to, got good questions.
I need to call the police (again: tried when I first got in & was on hold for 5 minutes), then C, then the local paper.Â A woman was killed on her bike recently, so this may still be newsworthy.Â (That was a suggestion from a colleague who was a cyclist for many years; she was fantastic when I momentarily broke down.)
I canceled my dentist appointment for this afternoon — which I’d forgotten about — because I don’t think I’m at all capable of handling that today.