wrestling with frustration

point the first: DVD player died this weekend, following the microwave to an early electronics grave. actually, I’m impressed by the longevity of the microwave, which belonged to C’s grandfather, who died shortly before he & I started dating. the DVD player, not so much.

point the second: a lot of work stress, which of course I can’t write about. some days the whole thing just seems too big for me, especially since I lost a lot of ground fighting my depressions this last year.

point the third: there’s only a 50/50 chance that the front room will have carpet by Saturday, which is the day of the big birthday D&D fest.


we can still watch DVDs, with some fun laptop-related jerry-rigging. and I’m surprised at how well we do without the microwave. only time I’ve really, really missed it was when I made enchiladas last night. (best way to quickly soften a bunch for rolling.) most reheating, even, can be done nearly as well on the stovetop, oddly enough.

all of the pieces of the kitchen are back in the kitchen, with the exception of the dishwasher, and I’m really enjoying having everything right at hand again. we have been making progress, even if it seems glacial sometimes. (seems, nothing: it really is glacial.)

I’ve been riding more again (to & from the van, even!), and doing morning exercises, and generally paying more attention to how I wake up, and it seems to be paying off.

oh, but I’m tired, and panic seems continually right around the corner. too much going on, and when has that not been true?

I guess at least it means I’m alive.

and, randomly, I’ve been reading really good books of late, which is a source of immense pleasure for me.