Month: November 2001

“Marin was also the one who introduced me to music. I was watching him, again, while he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, whispering to his machines, and I started humming some song from Tanu. He looked up, a little bleary-eyed, and smiled warily.

“‘Is that what your music sounds like?’ he asked, and it was the first time he’d asked me a question about myself. I nodded, biting my tongue, feeling as though I had disturbed him.

“‘Can you sing it for me again?’

“I flushed, and then sang: it was just a lullaby, something I had overhead my mother singing dozens of times when my younger siblings were having trouble falling asleep, something she had sung to me when I was a tiny thing. But it made Marin smile, and nod along with the rhythm.

“‘Have you learned any of our music?’

“‘The voice teach…teached…taught me a little music theory, and history?’ I wasn’t too sure on that point — it was one of the modules that Marcus had let the machines select, since he admitted to being musically illiterate. I looked away, abashed, and was almost startled to hear Marin’s chuckle.

“‘Better just to listen.’ Then he turned back to the machine, touched it on the side (very gently) and spoke again in its language. Then the room began to emit song — an incredible instrumentation, nothing like anthing I’d heard before, even in the musicology module. It was perfectly, wonderfully overwhelming. When I opened my eyes, Marin was grinning.

“‘Ask it to play you Marin gai melod anide’ he spoke in the choppy language he used to the machine ‘and you can hear more, if you like.’

a waste of perfectly good milk.

“They were standing in a little knot, heads close together — Xersu, Joan and Marcus — Marcus was all hand gestures, waving and pointing, while Xersu had her arms folded over her chest and frowned, and Joan merely looked sad, exasperated, and grim all at the same time.

“‘If you can find some way to do this without dipping into the official budgets…’ Maya Xersu trailed off, her jaw clenched, as she caught me out of the corner of her eye. I froze, waiting for her to say something, to be chased away.

“Meanwhile, Marcus had continued: ‘I’ve told you before, just tell me how much I need to…’ and then he too stopped where he was, seeing Xersu looking at me.

“But Joan was the only one who actually said anything. ‘Honey, don’t worrry,’ she said, ‘we’re only thinking of your best interests, aren’t we?’ giving the others a sharp look. And then Marcus’ face relaxed, and he rubbed his hands on the sides of his pants, and Maya Xersu folded and unfolded her arms, her eyes serious, guarded.

“I walked away, and went back outside to sit in the rain and watch the insects traipse across the dirt paths. There were huge red and gold beetles that lived in and around the crater, and little blue ants, and dozens of others that have still probably never been fully catalogued — though I had spent a couple of days catching insects with someone Marcus knew. If things had been different, if I’d grown up in that culture, perhaps I would have studied insects. But who could know such a thing?

“The other event which made that day stand out happened there, as I was watching a red beetle lift a dead fly twice its size. Now, in those intervening months, I’d had little contact with the children who had been so horrid in my first days. I would see them, across the compound, either playing, on field trips with their young teacher, or with their families, and I’d walk the other way. Not running, but definitely avoiding them.

it didn’t turn out like the last time I made tapioca, that’s for sure. I wish I’d had the same brand I used to use, not that I can remember what that was….

making tapioca. which mean, of course, that I should be hoving over the saucepan with my spoon, but there’s only so long you can stare down into not-yet-boiling milk.

oh, and here is the picture I did for that coloring contest. (pic opens in new window) I kinda like it, and that was lots of fun!

and, wow, it even has my first attempt at a character generator! y’know, if I went back into my notebooks, I might find the exact vintage of this site.

old web sites never die. this is me, sometime in 1999 – y’know, that house picture was really pretty cool.